My love & I…
I met my love, Cindy at exactly the age I didn’t think I would meet the love of my life, in exactly the place I never thought I would find the woman who made my heart sing.
I was 24 I’d just graduated from University. I went and lived in Australia for a couple of months on my own to celebrate, and have some time alone. I had decided that after living away from home for two years at school, and being crazy-stressed-out-of-my-spirit from studying, it would be good to return home for a year just to rest, and be with my family again.
So that’s what I did after Australia – went back home, lived in my parent’s home, and started working as a finance trainee at the CBD. Both sides of my family have been there for 4+ generations. Consequently, I’m really not joking when I say I’m related to most of Proserpine. They are all cousins in some form or the other. And – no offence to my adopted homelands – but it’s remote, in Northern Queensland, where men are (usually) more called to go pig shooting and pubbing than talk about Great Spirit and their soul’s calling.
I never thought I’d find love there. I thought I would have to travel half the globe and wait years and years and years to find the man my spirit called home.
I love how Great Spirit has its own mystery and magic for us… how, despite the stories we believe about love, it can teach us and show us that love has its own timing and place.
On my second day working, I was introduced to the Human Resource lady. It was my second day because she’d been away the day before hand.
Natalie, my boss said:
“Oh Kevin! Here she is! This is Cindy!
Cindy, this is Kevin.”
And I giggled, and stumbled over my words, and turned red, and just stared. And she looked at me, with the bluest eyes in the world, and she smiled a secret smile, and turned back to Natalie, still with that smile on her face.
And I kept staring at her – at her crazy wild long brown hair, and her eyes, and her secret smile, and two thoughts ran through my head:
She is definitely, definitely not from around here. Wahoo!
That would have to be the hottest woman I have EVER seen walk the planet.
I didn’t call it love at first sight. I called it “my soul’s intense attraction to this woman like I’ve never, ever felt before.”
I wonder if Natalie ever knew she was introducing two soulmates…
And so it was.
So began a three month long infatuation with her from afar.
She’d walk past me in hallways, and say Hello to me, with her eyes blazing, and her secret smile, and my belly would tumble, and my spirit would jump into my body, and I would be rendered speechless. Every time, I would shake my head and think How on earth can this one woman have this effect on me? What IS this about?
And weeks passed, and I would try and convince myself that it couldn’t and wouldn’t happen. I was too young, too blush-ey, too undecided about my future. And he was older, and so very hot, and wasn’t going to be interested in me. And each time, I made that decision, within hours I would be given a sign from the universe that she was my destiny:
I’d look up to see her birthday was right next to mine on the birthday calendar – making her a Scorpio too, the only starsign I’d ever wanted to be with.
I’d be asked to fold payslips, and see her full name: a name that is the most beautiful name I have ever known. With a last name that is Wong. She’d have to come work on our finance system with me – and beneath her white blouse, I saw the outline of a tattoo on her shoulder. Of a Scorpio. I was done for.
And the last time I ever needed a sign:
I rounded a corner at work, walking with a friend, deciding for the last time just to Let It Go Already. And we walked into the crowded outdoor eating area – and I looked up, and there she was. Looking straight at me. I looked straight at her. And I stopped walking for a moment. In that moment, as she said later, it was like our past, present and future all meeting together in one moment. It was a moment of such deep soul attraction and connection. Everything that was to come was there in that moment already.
I managed to start walking again, and I walked into our work kitchen. I thought:
There is no way I am leaving this company until I find out what is between us.
All the beauty and love that was to come…
So my sweet little 24 year old spirit decided not to leave without discovering the magical, deep, intense connection with this stranger-hottie of hers. And for that, I want to high-five her and say:
Oh my darling. I’m so glad you listened to your intuition. I’m so glad you did.
I made up my mind, and decided to make this giant ship of ours move. I started emailing her. I started breaking my computer every chance I got so that she’d have to come over. I started flirting outrageously with her.
I knew that she wasn’t a woman with his man-radar on. (I later found out she’d chosen to be celibate for the six years before that – deciding she would only share her heart with the right man). I knew I’d have to stand there, waving a billboard plastered with HEY I REALLY, REALLY LIKE YOU! before she got it. But I didn’t really care much. I knew I’d rather be embarrassed and open-hearted than leave with a “What if?”
It really felt like if we didn’t make it into love, it would be the biggest “What if?” of my life.
So I took chance after chance. I emailed her to talk about my favourite book at the time (Microserfs by Douglas Coupland – about two geeks that fall in love. Subtle, much?) We emailed about all the places we wanted to travel to. She asked me if I wanted to go to Egypt with him. We started talking over ICQ at home (Goddess bless you, ICQ).
And one night, with my little sister beside me, I got some cahones and said oh so casually “hey, i was uh thinking of cruising along to see a movie on sunday… want to cruise along with me?” (I was trying to be oh so cool). And as we waited for his typed response, we giggled, and shrieked.
And her answer came back:
Nah, that’s okay.
Holy devastated batman!
I was a crushed little spirit for 24 hours. Of course, it totally makes me giggle now. I know now that my sweet, spirited woman doesn’t like going to the movies because you can’t talk and connect and share at them. But she didn’t really say that then.
I didn’t see her at work that day.
The next night though, there he was on ICQ again. And straight away, she said:
Why don’t we go to the beach on Sunday? Let’s go somewhere quiet together.
And I giggled and shrieked.
We didn’t go to Egypt… but we did end up going to India.
And as they said….. the rest is history 🙂